I was married in July 2005. When I met my husband, he was an
active duty infantry officer. He switched to the Army National Guard
a couple of years ago so that he could pursue his MBA. He's
currently taking a leave of absence from his studies, as he was
deployed to Iraq this year with his National Guard unit. He'll be in
Iraq until sometime next spring (2007).
Starting this May (2006), I'll be taking a break from school and
work, as my husband and I are expecting our first child. We're
looking forward to having a daughter!
Q. Your husband is in the service and is currently in Iraq.
What have been the adjustments that you have had to make in your
personal life?
We've
been lucky thus far. My husband has been able to contact me on an
almost daily basis from Iraq - either by email, phone, or instant
messenger. I feel very fortunate that I've had such regular contact
with him. The time difference (between Minnesota and Iraq) can be
confusing now and then, but overall, I think we're both doing well.
I am lucky to have supportive family and friends here. Because we
were only married for a couple of months before he had to leave for
training in another state, the adjustments I've had to make on a
daily basis have been relatively minimal. I miss seeing him everyday
and I miss the hugs and kisses from him. I am sad that he is missing
so much of my pregnancy. He is excellent at keeping in touch,
reminding me that he loves me, and expressing himself over a
distance. I think the first few days were hardest, but then you get
yourself into a routine and it gets better. I try to say busy. I try
to keep things in perspective and take it day by day.
I
definitely do NOT watch cable news as much as I used to - I get too
worried and frustrated by the headlines and sensationalism of the
media. I try to spend more time reaching out to other military
families and to veterans. I think meeting those who understand more
about what I'm going through helps a lot. I also am encouraged when
I can help others who are going through the same experience. I am
sure the biggest adjustments will be when our baby is born in May
and when Josh eventually returns from deployment. We both know that
we will face new challenges and be different people a year from now,
but through communication and patience, we look forward to making
the transition as smoothly as possible and to being a family
together again. We’re already planning for and looking to the future
beyond deployment.
Q. What inspired you to create your web site?
Several years ago, I stumbled upon the blogs of
Frank J.
and Rachel Lucas. At the time, I was frustrated with what was
happening in the world and my only outlet was to vent my
frustrations to my friends and family via email or over the phone.
When I started reading those two blogs, I decided it was something
that I needed to do as well. I started my blog for me - as a way to
express myself. Dean Esmay of Dean's World was key in helping me set-up my site. My blog became a way for me to
vent my feelings and express my thoughts on various issues. I was
especially encouraged by emails from readers who shared my feelings.
It was good to know that I was not the only one out there with
particular views.
Originally, my blog was more political and focused on current
events. It has evolved over the years, as my life has changed, to be
more focused on military news and issues, stories about our military
heroes, and info about supporting our troops and their families. I
now find inspiration from blogs like
Blackfive,
Mudville Gazette,
and SGT Hook.
Q. What have been the biggest challenges to maintaining your
web site?
My main challenge: Time. With work, school, volunteer work, and
now a baby on the way, I find it difficult to post regularly to my
blog - at least as much as I'd like. It takes time to keep up with
news, find something interesting that is worthy of sharing or
comment, and then to author an intelligent (or at least coherent)
post.
Another challenge: Spam. My host has turned off my comments and
trackbacks in the past because of spamming. No matter what I do,
eventually they figure out a way around it. It is frustrating. I've
had to switch to a system where readers register. This frustrated
some of my regular readers, but it had to be done. I was sick of all
the spam I was getting on my comments and as trackbacks and didn't
have time to filter through it all myself when technology was not
blocking it.
Q. What has been the greatest satisfaction you have gotten
from your web site?
My greatest satisfaction comes from knowing that I've been able
to help and support our troops and their families through my blog.
Every once in awhile, I'll get a special request from a soldier or
Marine and it's amazing to me how generous my readers have been in
helping out our troops when I share these requests.
Just last year, I was able to encourage a group to send care
packages to some K9 units in Iraq. I'm glad to do what I can to give
back to those men and women who give so much by serving in the
military. Just getting an email of thanks now and then from someone
serving in Afghanistan or Iraq makes my day and reminds me that in
fact, my words can make a difference to someone else.
I've also been pleased to meet several incredible people through
my website, including fellow bloggers such as Toni from
Bear Creek
Ledger and Ed from
Captain's Quarters. I used to correspond with
Ed back when he started Captain's Quarters and it's been amazing to
see where his website has taken him.
Q. About your husband’s deployment to Iraq, you wrote on your
web site:
“It helps that I support
what he's doing and why he's doing it. I don't feel like we were
tricked, duped, or forced onto this path in our lives. I don't feel
angry or hurt.”
There are some spouses and family members of servicemen who do
feel that their loved ones were tricked, duped, or forced into going
to Iraq even though this country maintains an all-volunteer
military. What is your perspective about people who truly feel that
way?
They are entitled to their feelings. I can only speak for myself
based on my experience regarding this issue. As you mentioned - we
do have an all-volunteer military. It is my feeling that military
service is not for everyone and it's quite different from any other
job. People who join the military in this day and age simply for the
pay or the benefits, believing they won't be deployed or face
combat, are fooling themselves and setting themselves up for
disappointment and frustration. You do not get something for
nothing.
The military may offer great benefits and opportunities - which
can make it tempting to join, but there is a price for it all and a
great risk comes with joining the armed forces. My father put in 30
years with the Navy, including service as a corpsman in Vietnam
(where he saw friends wounded and killed), sacrificing a lot to earn
the benefits he now enjoys in retirement. I would not be here today
had it not been for how the Navy shaped my father and influenced my
family, but it is a high price (and risk) you pay for what the
military can offer. It is not an easy life and it is not for
everyone.
I encourage all who are considering military service to seriously
evaluate what they are doing and what risks are involved before they
sign on the dotted line. I wish my husband could be here and I miss
him terribly, but I also understand what he's volunteered to do and
the risks that face him. Right now, he's a soldier first and my
husband (and father to our baby) second. When it comes down to it,
my husband made a choice and I support his choice even through the
challenges we now face. He knew what he was getting into when he
joined and I knew what I was getting into when I married him. I
respect the decision he’s made to serve in the Army and know he made
that choice out of love for our country and for his family.
Q. My hometown of San Antonio Texas is known as Military City
USA because it once had up to five military installations. However,
even in this environment the local newspaper seems inclined to only
print the bad news coming from Iraq. Do you feel that the media is
obsessed with only reporting the negative stories?
In local media venues (hometown newspapers, etc.), I have seen
the positive stories. It seems that when it comes to the national
media, however, the good news doesn't make the headlines - or
perhaps, it just doesn't sell enough papers or get enough ratings to
be put in the headlines.
I think that's the bottom line - it isn't necessarily that the
mainstream media loves to be negative, but they do like to make
money and for them, there is more money in negative than positive
news. Perhaps it is just human nature? After all, the traffic seems
to back-up whenever there is a horrible wreck on the side of the
highway, as people slow down to view the carnage. That is still no
excuse for the careless behavior of the media. It seems to me that
sensationalizing the story-of-the-moment and getting the scoop first
is more important these days than what is truly happening in the
world or what is in the best interests of the public. The mainstream
media seems to care little about "the truth" or about being
"unbiased" or getting "both sides" - for the most part, they seemed
focused on making money and doing what is best for them - not what
is best for the public or for our country.
Q. A number of servicemen who have returned from Iraq are
upset that the press is almost downplaying the significant progress
in Iraq, such as ordinary people voting in elections, the emergence
of a functioning central government, more Iraqi policemen and troops
on the street, and a growing infrastructure. Yet the media seems
quick to report anything that has failed while ignoring the big
successes. Do you feel that there is not enough emphasis on the
enormous progress in Iraq?
Very much so. I've heard from troops coming back and troops
currently serving over there that the violence in Iraq is relatively
limited to certain parts of the country. For example, you hear very
little about what is happening in the far northern areas of Iraq, in
the Kurdish regions that were so oppressed under Saddam Hussein's
regime. I have a good friend who returned last fall after spending
the summer completing research for his dissertation in the Kurdish
region of
northern Iraq. He'd previously visited the area ten years ago, when
the people of that area were under the rule of Hussein. At that time
not only was there a bounty on his head as an American working in
Iraq, but the Kurdish people were being treated horrible by Saddam
Hussein. My friend has pictures showing the damage, the wounded,
those who survived chemical attacks by Saddam Hussein’s government
as his forces attempted to wipe out the Kurdish people in that part
of Iraq.
My friend returned from his most recent trip completely astounded
by the change that has taken place in the Kurdish regions of Iraq -
a cultural revival of sorts - and most of the change is the direct
result of American involvement and the work of our military.
Unfortunately, this type of news (good news) is not discussed in the
mainstream media very often - at least not on the front page or in
the headlines.
Q. Do you think that the media and to a certain extent the
general public, has an unrealistic expectation of our military and
of Iraq? That is, the perception that this conflict should have only
been a handful of battles and then everyone comes home to march in
the next Fourth of July parade; otherwise this effort is taking too
long?
Yes. When such concerns are expressed, I can’t help but think
that we still have troops in Germany and Japan and World War II has
been over for more than 50 years! It’s been nearly as long since we
entered the Korean War and we still have thousands of soldiers
there. I think current public opinion is shaped by a culture that
attempts to compact everything into half-hour or hour-long
television programs or 20 second news segments. If it can’t be
summarized into a PowerPoint bullet or into a 2 minute music video,
then people lose their patience.
For some, if a problem can't be fixed quickly and easily, it
isn't worth doing. If we no longer have the resolve to follow
through on what we’ve started, take responsibility for our actions,
to accomplish our objectives, and stand up for our values, it makes
me worry about what the future may hold.
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