First is that people are still personally accountable for their
decisions including the bad ones and for every time they exercise
poor judgment. However, there are extenuating circumstances when an
individual is still a minor and our justice system recognizes that.
Adolescence and young adulthood is a turbulent time in which
rebelliousness and immaturity prevents the ability to use sound
judgment. Consequently, our society makes allowances for that age
bracket because everybody makes mistakes during their youth.
But our courts also realize that there are certain actions that are
so reprehensible that a kid will be tried as an adult and sentenced
as one.
For example, if a kid points a gun at a police officer or attacks
one, then there are going to be consequences involved.
In many such instances, someone is going to get shot at in
retaliation and possibly killed. The outcomes are few and very
limited and quite fatal.
If my own son did that, then he better have a damn good reason for
it. If not, then there is no way in good conscience for me as a
parent to defend bad behavior even if it was done by my own child.
That is not to say that I would cease to love my own children but I
cannot excuse or condone such reprehensible actions, especially if
physical harm was intentionally or recklessly done to someone else.
There used to be a time that when a kid screwed up, a parent would
side with the teacher or the police officer. Those days are now gone
because those values have disappeared. Today, there are plenty of
parents who have no problem whatsoever in lying and covering for
their own offspring who participated in irresponsible or even
outrageous behavior. Of course nobody is perfect and we all have our
own faults and shortcomings but there is a line that has to be drawn
where certain violent actions cannot be overlooked or ignored.
As a kid, I grew up in the barrio and I was surrounded by a plethora
of bad behavior. There was a lot of violent crime on my side of the
railroad tracks. As a result, my parents never hesitated in
enlightening me of the ramifications of poor judgment, especially
the decisions that could ruin or even end your life.
Accordingly, about the best thing a parent can do is to teach their
children a value system that recognizes the universal values that
our modern civilization is based on. And just as important, it is to
teach children that they alone are solely responsible for their
decisions and they have to make judgment calls on their own.
Although their peers and popular culture may influence them one way
or another they are still liable for the outcome of their actions
and there will be a price to pay for anything that goes awry.
A parent also needs to teach their children refusal skills. Our
popular culture glorifies immediate gratification, violence, and the
acceptance among others. It is a tough world for a kid so he or she
needs to learn that there are ways to emphatically say no,
especially to their peers. And the most important thing for anyone
to do is to make their own decisions and to stick by them and on
occasion, to rely on gut instincts.
Finally, parents need to explain the outcome and fallout of making
bad decisions and from exercising poor judgment which could
potentially be dangerous or even fatal. Attacking a police officer,
pointing a gun at someone, or something of that nature could very
well be harmful to your health. And it is not the policeman’s fault
that he was doing his job or the homeowner who was protecting his
family from a burglar.
However, even with all the guidance in the world, there are still
limits to a parent's influence. At the end of the day, a child is
still going to make his or her own decision.
So what if a kid has lousy parents where there are no rules or
values?
It still doesn’t change anything. A crime is still a crime and bad
behavior is still bad behavior.
Some people may want to rename a certain action like saying that
beating up your girlfriend is really nothing more than having an
argument with her instead of calling it domestic violence. Defense
attorneys often try to minimize the severity of a crime but if a
particular incident was dangerous or vicious enough it will still
have certain repercussions from our justice system regardless of
what you call it.
As a society, we ought to be grateful that there are still plenty of
people who look beyond their own bloodlines and ethnicity by turning
in their own family members and relatives to the police. Although it
must be heart wrenching, these individuals respect the rule of law
and they adhere to a sense of justice.
I can only imagine how tragic and painful it must be for a parent to
go through the anguish of their child going astray. However, there
is certain conduct that is completely unacceptable and just plain
wrong even if my own kid did it. I simply cannot excuse it or
minimize how bad it really was.
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